The Ramblings of an Ornamental American

An update on Raymond's quest of life, liberty, and the pursuit of sandwiches.

Wednesday, January 08, 2003

On the Road...AGAIN I'm heading out to Vegas for CES. It will be nice to catch up with Peter and the Kid...and the show is always fun...but I wonder why I make a point to go to these things. Every day I'll hit the show floor, go to a showcase event when the show lets out, and write until it's time to sleep. It's a pretty tiring process that makes me wonder why I do the online reporting thing. There are lots of times when the work is overwhelming, yet the respect always goes to print publications. I guess I'm still frustrated with work. Reading Live From New York isn't helping either; just reading details about those first five years...a bunch of young upstarts...working ridiculously hard...to make something really different. I feel like I need to do something like that this year. I have some really cool ideas and lots of problems with authority, but pretty soon I won't be young anymore. I realize I have a pretty stable job (which is amazing considering it's online), but we're not trying to do anything new here. I'm still young enough that stability doesn't matter and I'm totally willing to take that chance to do something that's different. I don't care if it fails, as long as I dare to be great. The online thing is really bugging me now because I have a severe case of magazine envy. James--the living embodiment of my insecurities--just kicked off a new magazine...and everyone is raving about it. A couple of guys I know are starting a new magazine in March. And here I am abandoning my social life (did I have one?) and giving my soul to the third-best gaming site in the biz. And unless the company suddenly decides to put a lot more resources behind my department (the other parts of the company make a ton of money), third best is all it will be. I want more.