�Nic fits� or �Crackers� So I�ve sorta kinda managed to come to terms with everything that happened last week. Maybe that wasn�t the best choice of words. I�ve come to accept it, but I�m not exactly happy with the way everything turned out. Doing the right thing sure can suck. I�m dealing with it better than I thought I would though. I�ve accepted that things are over. I�m just being really sardonic towards everyone as a response. I figured that as long as I�m miserable I might as well compound things but trying to quit smoking. It�s doing wonders for my mood. I feel bad because I�m snapping a lot and continuing jokes when I should let things go. Not that I don�t usually beat jokes to the ground, it�s just that there�s a slightly malicious undercurrent in my tone these days. Brandy was having problems pouring ketchup at a diner, so I razzed her about being an engineer and not being able to decipher the physics of a ketchup bottle. A few hours ago Kate was telling me that she was sensitive to when minorities used racist terms on her; I proceeded to use the words �cracker� and �honky� more than George Jefferson. In both cases the initial joke was funny, but I went with it more than I should have. I felt really guilty afterwards, not so much for the actual jokes but because I liked having a target to attack. So here I am�miserable�contemptuous�and without cigarettes. I�m having such a hard time focusing for more than 15 minutes at a time, except for when I�m practicing video poker or counting cards. I need to get back to Vegas pronto.