Gone in 36 Hours My second England trip of 2002 was lots of fun. It didn�t have the wild occurrences of the last one; it was more relaxed and less chaotic. My hotel was pretty posh and the hosting company took me to many wonderful restaurants. The latter fact has thrown a small wrench into all the training that I�ve been doing, but I�ll get back on track fast. It was just a very comfortable junket that made me forget about the stuff I�m trying to deal with at home. The plane ride back was lots of fun. I met this Scottish woman named Moira and we really hit it off. Her accent was so sexy and she had a piercing on her lower lip. She�s going to be in San Francisco for two weeks, so hopefully I can see her again�for some of the same kind of fun we had on the plane. I think my powers only work on women from other countries. That or I�m just infinitely more comfortable with women that are an ocean away from me. So roughly 36 hours after landing from London, I�m off to Toronto. Although the travelling has been great, it�s abundantly obvious that I�ve been using it to escape from the things that are bothering me. I�ve started to face the lesser issue and that should be cleared up soon, but the one that�s really breaking my heart is something that will stay with me for a long time. I just don�t know what could make this kind of hurt go away. I guess time will, but I foresee myself just�becoming numb to these kinds of things�becoming closed off and afraid to trust. It�s like, I found someone that I was so comfortable with that I let her into my crazy little world and see things that I would be afraid to share with almost anyone. I didn�t need to pretend with her. She accepted me even when I wasn�t putting up that carefree fa�ade that most people see. And I trusted her so much that I offered her my heart�but she didn�t care to have it. You have no idea how ridiculous I think I sound right now. I should grow up, but I don�t want to. I like my na�ve views on how the world works and love in particular. Even though I�m becoming more and more afraid to share/trust/give, I know that deep down I�ll always think love is everything.