Going�going�gone! Well, I got that job in Irvine. I�ll be starting at the end of the month--working from home--and will move down there at the end of May. I�m pretty excited and a little nervous about the whole thing. It�s a cool opportunity and I�m really looking forward to building something new and taking the site in a different direction. Yay me. Of course now that I�m leaving, I meet a perfectly cute girl. Actually, I met her awhile ago but I�ve never talked to her for an extended period of time. She works at Farley�s--my favorite caf� in San Francisco. She is extremely cute and has such a happy/fun vibe. While I was getting refills for Kate and me, she magically appeared at our table and hung out with us for an hour or so. Bless Kate and her enchanting smile for making the girl feel comfortable enough to hang out with us. She�s so cool and I was so caught up in her that I forgot Kate was there for a few minutes, which lead to this lovely piece of dialogue: Coffeehouse girl: So, you want to hear how incredibly messed up my life is? Me (staring intently): Sure, why don�t you tell me�er�us all about it. It was so cool to hang with her and I�m so smitten. Thankfully I was wearing sunglasses so she couldn�t tell how I was staring at her oh-so-pathetically. I was going to go back later that evening to see her again, but I want to take things slow. I want her to not like me over an extended period of time.

Happy Belated My blog turned one-year old last Saturday. I can�t believe I�ve been writing this crap for an entire year�. I saw the girl just now. She was at a party that I was attending. We hugged and talked for a bit. I miss her so much. It was so nice to hold her, but so difficult to look into her eyes. She�s really happy with her new job and new life. It�s very bittersweet. I�m incredibly happy that things are going so well for her, but I wish so much that I could be part of what�s making her happy. Next week I should hear if I got the job in Irvine. I really need this to happen for me. Even if I don�t take it, I just need to feel like I�m of some use to someone. With the things not working out with the girl and things not working out in Minnesota and freelance life not being so great�. Well, it would really kill me if I got rejected one more time. It really shouldn�t matter, but I�m so not feeling good about myself. Of course there are worse situations to be in, but I can�t help feeling inferior personally, professionally, romantically, etc. I need something to boost my ego. I need someone to believe in me�because I don�t.