�Anything boxes� or �I love L.A.� Despite the fact that I utterly loathe the city, I had an absolutely wonderful time in L.A. It was great seeing my pals from the gaming biz, sexy Becky (whom I haven�t seen in over a year), and my dear Raina. The whole weekend was full of relaxing, drinking, tanning, talking, spa-ing, catching up, and all that good stuff. It was great pampering myself, being around supportive friends, and seeing Josie and the Pussycats again (third time). I also had a really pleasant surprise on Friday. As I was pulling up to the hotel, I saw a woman that looked remarkably like Erica, my #1 crush in the universe. I smacked myself on the forehead, thinking there�s no way she�d be in L.A. and that I must be seeing things. To my delight, it was her! She stopped by to surprise me before flying back home to San Francisco. Speaking of Erica, I used one of her tricks to get an upgrade at the W. When I was checking in I mentioned that I was going to have a camera crew come up to do a segment about a video game. They upgraded me to a suite. W Hotels rock. One of the things I picked up over the weekend was Peace by Anything Box. I swear, this is the seventh time I've bought this album. For some reason I always lose it. Hopefully this time it will stay with me.

�Swingers� or �Shop till your drop� Well, I�m not nearly as morose as I was last week, but the euphoria from last weekend has worn off a bit too. I�ve been going through some wacky mood swings, which is more annoying to me than being sad all the time. At least when I was sad I was consistent. Hopefully with more time I�ll get back to my normal, mostly happy self. I�m fine when I�m out of the house, but I don�t think the happy thoughts when I�m home alone. Aside from reading my comics and Drizzt book, the thing that made me happy this week was shopping. This is weird because I usually don�t care to buy or accumulate a lot of things, especially since I wish to leave SF on whatever whim strikes me at a given time. I bought two pairs of really cool Ben Davis pants that have made me outstandingly happy. Workman clothes are cool. To balance out my rugged purchases I bought a bunch of girly Body Shop stuff. I don�t care what anyone says, bath salts are cool. I can�t wait to get to L.A. tomorrow. I�m having a get together tomorrow night with a bunch of friends, Saturday I�m going to try out some guitars at the Carvin shop, and I should have ample time to work on my tan. In retrospect, I probably could have stayed at a less expensive hotel, but I think three days of spoiling myself should be good. I�m pretty sure I�ll be jubilant when I return on Monday. Hopefully my mood will be more uniform throughout the week.

�Baby, what�s your number?� or �Legacy of the Drow� What an amazing weekend I just had! It was so great on several levels. There was lots of jacuzzi time, walks by the water, walks in the park, and window shopping. My room had a balcony, so there was the obligatory champagne under the moonlight. More importantly, she really took the time and listened to all my whining, hopes, fears, dumb ideas, etc. It really meant a lot to me. Most importantly, I didn�t do anything I wasn�t supposed to. Sure there was flirting, and maybe a little cuddling, but nothing that would be construed as an adulterous act. She was being a very supportive friend and gave me exactly what I needed. The only problem is I find her more attractive now. Maybe she knew that I would find it endearing if we didn�t fool around. I wonder if she knows that I know that she knows. If so, I wonder what will happen next. I�m awfully tempted to see her soon. I was watching CNN at the hotel--which is something I only watch at hotels�weird--and saw this piece about skim.com�s clothing line. They assign you a number, which is emblazoned on the various clothing and accessories you buy from them. If someone catches your number and is interested in you, they can enter it at the web site and an email is sent to you saying you have an admirer. From there you can choose to pursue it or not. I�m finding the whole thing a little ridiculous. So much so that I�m probably going to purchase a Skim sweatshirt. I can�t imagine this ever catching on in the U.S. My friend Rannie thinks that this might be what leads to the Rapture, but she�s a crazy Korean girl so I�m not buying her theory. This week should go by pretty fast. I picked up the latest R.A. Salvatore compilation at the airport so the next four days should be filled with the exciting adventures of Drizzt Do�Urden. Then it will be time for my L.A. trip/party (I can�t wait!). I�m terribly fascinated by Salvatore�s characters. I�d like to fancy myself as Jarlaxle, the insightful and charming drow mercenary who is a good person despite his manipulative ways. In truth, I�m more like Regis the halfling, whose favorite activities are eating and sleeping.

�Twist of fate� or �Advantage Raymond?� Today I was reading comics in a lounge on the 39th floor of the Marriott. It was really rather peaceful�until I started reading the latest issue of Blink. There was some dialogue that made me think about her--the one girl I truly loved, but got away. It made me wonder if I�m ripe for a relapse because of my current state of mind. Anyway, here it is: �Sometimes you have to take solace in fate. Fate brought you together, and it broke you apart. But it can never change how you feel. Nothing is ever diminished just because it ends�.� I�m probably just being stupid. Speaking of which, I�m most likely going away this weekend to spend time with a really nice girl. Sounds good, right? Only problem is she sorta kinda has a husband. I told her I didn�t want to �date� her anymore, but I really want the attention and stuff. I�m not sure who�s taking advantage of whom here. Am I guilty for accepting a plane ticket and hotel room? Or is she guilty because she knows how exceedingly vulnerable I am right now. It�s probably both, but I wonder who has the upper hand. Not that I care to have it, I�m just...curious.

�No rest for the stupid� or �The Bay Area for less then $20 a day� My sleeping habits are all sorts of messed up. Since I lost my job I�ve been going to bed around 5AM and waking up at 2PM. I�m trying not to sleep tonight so I can fix my sleeping pattern. Hopefully I won�t succumb to an always-tempting nap. Sunday was pretty interesting. My friend Adam is in town from NY and I forgot I was supposed to go to an As game with him. I woke up around 2:30PM and got his message. In my typically girly way, I took an inordinate amount of time to get ready so we were a little late for the 5PM game. We paid for bleacher seats ($6) but ended up sitting 25 rows back from the dugout (awesome view). Although it was cool we were able to do that, it made me a little sad that nobody goes to As games. They�re a fun, scrappy, young team that the town doesn�t really appreciate. Then I remembered that I shouldn't get too sad, because they have jobs. After dinner we saw Josie and the Pussycats (my second time). Adam has a Loews pass that gives him two free tickets for any movie, any day for a year. So all in all, we did a lot of stuff that day without spending a lot of money. Cool. Oh yeah, I�m still in love with Melody.

"Sweetest melody" or "Only the lonely" Day one of unemployment was pretty smooth. It didn't really sink in, plus my friend Tony cooked dinner for Rannie (his evil Korean girlfriend) and me--there was a lot of wine involved and that helped me avoid the realization that I was ditched. Day two was a bit worse and day three really sucked. Sometimes it's hard to follow Morelli's Law (see 4/10). I know it's not a reflection of my performance or my self worth, but losing a job does hit your confidence. It's nice to know that you're doing something valuable with your day, plus I was really proud of the job I did. For sure I wasn't the best editor in the world, but if you look at the site when I started and how much it has improved since then, it's pretty impressive. I know I was one of the reasons why. It was one of the few things in my life that I knew I was good at...and now it's gone. Thankfully a few friends of mine made those days bearable and a little fun. On day two I stayed up until 4AM AIM-ing with Raina. She really helped me cheer up and think about other things. Today I saw Josie and the Pussycats with my friend Tom, who I know from the games business. I'm so thankful for their company and friendship, because truth be told, I'm feeling a bit lonely. Speaking of Josie and the Pussycats, I totally fell in love with Melody, the ditzy drummer played by Tara Reid. Most people will find her charming because she's airy and funny, but--keep in mind I'm projecting here--I fell for her because she's very positive, bubbly, has a bright outlook on life, and seems like someone I can help. I really do have a thing for women that need help. It's not so much that I want to be a "knight in shining armor." I guess I just like feeling useful to and taking care of someone. If I met someone like Melody, who is na�ve and not so smart, I could protect her from people that would take advantage of her and she would help me to always look on the bright side. Plus, cute girls wearing cat ears are totally hot.

�Which way to the unemployment office?� or �Morelli�s Law� I lost my job today�something about �aggressive cost-reduction initiatives.� That�s what I get for working at a web site. It�s not bad though. There are certainly worse things that could happen. The whole thing reminded me of this guy Mike Morelli from Fordham Law. I was down in the dumps about a girl and he asked me, �What�s the worst thing that could happen to you?� I said something about losing the girl forever, to which he replied, �No! The worst thing that could happen is that you could be dead tomorrow.� From that moment on Morelli�s Law has helped me keep things in perspective. Sure I have no job right now, but I�m alive, have 5 � senses, have a bunch of friends, have food to eat, etc. A lot of people have it worse than I do. The thing is I wasn�t really sad about it until I sent an email to my industry contacts letting them know I was out of work. I got a lot of supportive replies and phone calls. Companies with upcoming industry parties asked that I still attend. I was touched by the whole thing and got teary eyed in a Hallmark moment sort of way. The best part of it is I have more time to play tennis and work on my tan!

�Fun with Haiku� or �How femme am I?� The other night I was AIM-ing with my pal Raina and started writing haiku. It was a fun mental and creative exercise, and the results show how lacking I am mentally and creatively. Here are two of the ones I wrote that night. One is about Raina, whom I call my daughter (she�s very dear, but I unfairly and patronizingly always think of her as a little girl). The other is about Julie, my current crush. "My daughter Raina, Spunky, cool, cute, and brainy, She will conquer all." "Julie, sweet Julie, Why does your smile astound me? I�d love to learn why." Yes, the second one is unbelievably femme. Then again there�s something altogether girly about men writing haiku. But to steal a Tagalog phrase for a second, �Ako Ito!�

�Deconstructing Robert� or �Ode to the Pickle King� In general, people fascinate me. No matter how dull or boring a person may seem, there�s always something interesting to learn about him or her. I love getting to know people�s quirks and idiosyncrasies. It�s the numerous dorky things people say, think, and do that I find so interesting. That said, I do get bored with people after awhile--be it days, weeks, months--because of my gnat-like attention span. My roommate is the only person I�ve ever met who constantly amazes me. I�ve known him for five years and he�s still an endless source of wonder. I can honestly say that I�ve never met anyone that thinks like him. Many of the things he says and does astound me--and frighten me just a little. All at once he�s brilliant, retarded, dynamic, spastic, considerate, aloof, excited, lazy, driven, indifferent, focused, and detached. I would say he�s a walking conundrum of frenetic energy, but so many of the things he does are (surprisingly) planned out and structured. It�s difficult to describe anyone�s uniqueness; explaining Rob�s is impossible. I feel blessed to know him.

"Pete Sampras fears me" or "I'm Henry the Eigth, I am" I played tennis this weekend, which will hopefully become a more regular thing. It was fun, but it�s sad how my skills have diminished--I must be one-hundredth the player I used to be. There were a great many points where I�d be looking at the ball thinking, �Gee, I should really be over there.� The set turned out to be a classic battle of the immovable object vs. the uncontrollable force: I couldn�t really move and Tony (my opponent) had no control. In the end Tony made more mistakes than I did so I won 6-1. Yay me! The stories of my former tennis prowess have been greatly exaggerated. It�s true that I used to play on the junior circuit and that I played Vince Spadea--he's now on the pro tour--a few times. Spadea totally killed me though. One of my friends in NY found it fascinating, so he told our friends I used to beat Spadea, which turned into me beating Mark Philipoussis, and eventually turned into me dominating Pete Sampras until I blew out my knee. For some reason I was messing around with music on my PC. I got this idea to take goofy/happy songs and ska them up a bit. I�m working on really fast versions of �I�m into Something Good� and �I Think We�re Alone Now.� There�s mucho distorted guitar and even more horns. Next time I�m in NY I might lay this stuff down with my brother. It seems like a really cool idea now, but I�m sure I�ll think it�s stupid next month. Maybe I should start a Monkees cover band�.