Goodbye scarecrow This should really be private, but I want to remember what I wrote too. I just finished scribbling a card that said: Dear Rob, Wow, it's been two years already?!? I can hardly believe it. Anyway, thanks for being a stellar roommate, for helping me when things were down, and for being a surprising source of stability. Best of luck in NY with finding a new home and starting a new life with your beautiful (future) wife. On so many levels, you're the best. I'll miss you the most scarecrow. Love, Raymond

My life as a shelf I just got back from seeing my second-favorite band in the world at Bottom of the Hill. They were really awesome tonight--much better than their show in LA a few weeks ago. Like the last show, the band closed out their set with Name. It was definitely the best they�ve sounded live in the three times that I�ve seen them. Too bad the last two times Come Out and Play sounded flat. I really love that song. Before Majestic played, I was introduced to the lovely sounds of Charming. They too were fantastic, which is a little disturbing since it seems like the only music I like these days is on Shelflife Records. I bought this Shelflife compilation I�ve been wanting for a long time, as well as two Shermans CDs. I should have bought the Charming CD at the show, but I decided to wait until my next Shelflife mail order. Then I can get more Brittle Stars and Laura Watling. So my move is all set. Hopefully the moving company is reputable and they won�t sell my stuff on the way down to Irvine. I didn�t bother to check them out. Rob is set to leave on Thursday�. It�s only two days away and none of it is sinking in. Pretty soon I�ll finish a day of work and not be able to go to Farley�s with Kate to whine about romantic stuff and fawn over Tobey. It�ll be Friday and I won�t be able to cross town to catch James� set. I�ll have to fly to San Francisco to watch The Fairways play at Bottom of the Hill. It�s all rather sad. But I guess that�s fitting since I�ve been quite melancholy since E3 ended. Usually I�m totally excited to be heading into a new adventure, but I�ve only been able to think about people, places, and things I�ll be missing and letting go of. It�s like The Beatles� In My Life is constantly playing in the background. There are places I remember�.

Asking, wanting, moving It�s been entirely too long since my last blog. So much has happened since then and many details have been forgotten, but I�ll try to sum it up for you anyway. So I asked out amazingly cute coffeehouse girl. By real men�s standards it was a wussy effort, but for me it was Herculean. Rannie, Jeff, and I were leaving the coffeehouse and I asked coffeehouse girl to come outside for ten seconds. So we�re outside and she asks, �So why am I out here for ten seconds?� And I say, �I�d really like to see you�as in when you�re not here. If that�s cool, let me know.� So I slipped her my business card and she says, �I�m out of town this weekend, but I�ll give you a call next week.� I was totally spastic about my effort and thought about banging my head on concrete for a few hours. In retrospect it wasn�t so bad. It�s been nearly two weeks and she hasn�t called. Oh well. At least I asked. Oh, my aforementioned fit led to me calling someone I really shouldn�t have. It was both good and bad, but I definitely shouldn�t have made that call. Have you ever fallen in love with someone, not seen or talk to her for a long time, all of the sudden see her a lot over a short period of time, and remembered every reason you fell in love with her the first place? That was my interesting subplot during E3. In addition to the ridiculous amount of work and the gratuitous parties, my heart was being tugged on a lot. I can�t even find the words for all the emotions I went and am going through. Anything I try to say would woefully understate the actuality of my feelings. It wasn�t so bad though. Thankfully I had some really great company to help get me through the week. This blog totally sucked. I should blog more often so I don�t try to cram too many things into one entry. I�m sure this will be an emotional week, with Rob and I going our separate ways, saying many goodbyes, and flying off into parts unknown. I�ll be sure to jot it all down right after it happens.

Hi, my name is Joe So there�s this guy name Joe. He�s had his eye on a most outstanding woman that works at his favorite coffeehouse. Normally Joe is either pitifully shy or woefully inept with women, but for some reason thinks he can connect with aforementioned coffeehouse girl. There have been moments when Joe has been sweet, possibly charming, with the girl. His most recent actions are decidedly lame. After listening to some of the girl�s personal experiences and engaging in some activities that could be construed as flirting, Joe found himself more enamored than ever with the charming coffeehouse girl. He�s been wanting to say something to her�let her know how beautiful she is�or tell her how her laughter warms his heart�or possibly ask her on a date. For several reasons--most of which stem from cowardice and a general lack of confidence--he has never done much. Today was going to be different for Joe. After too much thought he finally did something. He scribbled down what he wanted to say to the girl, partially to see how ridiculous it was. Not wanting to make a fuss in front of the other coffeehouse patrons, he went up to the girl, put the note in her pocket, and waited for her to read it. While she blushed and was most definitely flattered, it was pretty clear that she didn�t want this type of attention from Joe. And seriously, who can blame her? Joe has being going to this coffeehouse (i.e. stalking) for weeks just to see this girl. He�s had ample opportunity to ask her out like a real man, but instead resorts to grade-school antics like slipping notes into pockets. The girl must think Joe is a psychotic-freak-stalker-loser that needs to get his act together. In short, Joe should really stop bothering this fine lass, but probably won�t. Hi, my name is Joe.

Say what?!?!?! Wow�all of the sudden I have a major dilemma about Irvine. It�s a wonderful dilemma to have though. I was all set to live with my friend�s younger brother and two of his friends. Then out of the blue, Steve emails me and says he�s game to move to Irvine with me. Although living with the college kids would have been nice, living with Steve would be fantastic. Adjusting to and exploring (exploiting?) a new town with one of my oldest and best friends would be phenomenal. It would make adjusting infinitely easier. I feel bad about ditching the kids, but I have to be selfish in this case. Moving to Irvine with Steve would make life much easier, much more stable, and way more fun. I�ve lived with him before and know he can tolerate me. More importantly, we�d give each other big-time support, which is crucial when adjusting to a totally new area. I really hope things work out with Steve. Now�back to the coffeehouse girl--sorry for the interruption. Kate and I went there tonight to see her. She was a little sad, but we had a pleasant exchange. However, I�m beginning to wonder if I misheard what she said. If that is indeed the case and if what I now think she said is what she actually said then the exchange was way cooler than I thought. As I was jotting something down on a business card, it went something like: Me: Hey, tell me a story. Her: It�s not a good story day�maybe tomorrow. I�ll tell you all the stories you want, just write down a number. After further thought I think this is what actually happened: Me: Hey, tell me a story. Her: It�s not a good story day�maybe tomorrow. I�ll tell you all the stories you want, just write down my number. The thing is, she doesn't work tomorrow (Saturday).... One word makes a big, big difference. I don�t know if that�s what she said. Sue me. I was nervous (as I always am around beautiful women), I was writing, and it was moderately busy that night. I don�t know�maybe it�s just wishful thinking on my part. Gah, this is one of those moments where I wish life was in TiVo so I could rewind it and play it back a million times to be sure what happened. Oh well. I�m supposed to go to the coffeehouse with Hot Kirsten on Monday. Maybe my poor hearing will be the impetus to ask amazingly-sexy-coffeehouse-girl out.

Pocket full of kryptonite So after my incredibly fun encounter last Thursday with insanely-cute-coffeehouse-girl, I thought seeing THE girl robbed me of my powers. When I went to the coffeehouse on Monday--nothing. Tuesday--nothing. I was pretty sure that THE girl was my kryptonite and stripped me of my ability to be charming for one hour every day (it's my mutant power...really). Seeing THE girl always shakes my confidence and coffeehouse girl was kind of busy those nights. I mean, we chatted and all, but nothing special. Today I went to the coffeehouse with Rannie and James, and was well on my way to more of nothing. We ended up playing Scrabble and I lost by four points because of my own greed. I hate losing, so I thought I was going to be all grumpy. I thought I�d say bye to coffeehouse girl since we didn�t really say anything the entire night. She�s been feeling down and I wanted to cheer her up, so I bought her a pack of the cigarettes she smokes and let her know that I was thinking about her. After a really nice and long hug, we talked for a bit and I left feeling way happy. I don�t really know her, but I can tell she�s warm, caring, generous, and really hot. I�m such a dork.

All mixed up What a strange and exciting week it�s been. Unfortunately it took a really sour turn, but hopefully will end all lovely. The job: Well, I started this week. I am so not used to getting up at a normal hour. My management skills are really rusty too; it�s not so much that it�s difficult� things are just taking longer than they should. Hopefully I�ll be able to execute faster in the near future. The office: It�s pretty cool. It�s a nice environment with a cool dog, lots of camouflage net, and a sweet smoking patio. The boys I�m working with seem great and I�m really excited about the damage we can do together. I still have to get used to people calling each other by their gaming nicks (SO weird), as well as the Numerous meetings. The town: The apartment complex I�m probably moving into is ridiculous. It has four pools, six hot tubs, two gyms, two basketball courts, two tennis courts, and lots of clubhouses. My unit has beautiful appliances and my room has its own balcony. Everything is so clean and new down there. It�s quite a change from New York and even San Francisco. I�m going to love the weather, but I�m going to miss rustic things like Farley�s--my favorite coffee shop in the world. Speaking of which�. The cute girl: I was at Farley�s yesterday during the early evening. Naturally I went to see the goofy-coffee-house-girl-of-my-dreams. She wore her hair down, which is the first time I�ve seen her do so. She was also wearing a green jacket, which plays off nicely with her green eyes. She was just too adorable and way sexy. Anyway, I was sitting outside with Kate, Rannie, Justin, and the Kid when she came out to sit next to me. We had a pretty cool conversation and she got a little playful. In fact, I totally lit up when she got all touchy feely with me. Hopefully it wasn�t so obvious externally, but inside, fireworks were going off. Kate said she could totally see it but that I hid it well enough. She�s probably lying. I don�t care. I was so high after chatting with my girl. THE girl: Much later that evening I bumped into the girl I love. We actually spoke on the phone earlier in the week for some work stuff. It�s still really difficult for me. She knows I�m leaving and wants to talk or get together or something before I leave. And there are few things in the world I would rather do than be with her�but you know, I�m not sure it�s the best thing. I still have incredible feelings for her and as much as I miss her and as much as I want to spend time with her, it�ll probably prolong the hurt that I feel. I really don�t know what I�m going to do�then again with her, I never did. My heart aches so much after seeing her. Oh well, at least I just feel lugubrious, as opposed to the utter devastation I felt when she first broke my heart. The trip: I�m off to the desert to see some game. After that I�m going to LA to see my second-favorite band in the world and my little girl. Hopefully the combination of the two can help me forget about the (really) rough spot of the week.