A Box, a Toaster, or a Loaf of Bread? I'm on my first San Francisco trip of 2003. I forgot how content I am sipping coffee at Farley's, talking to a friend, and gushing over Tobie. It was lovely to see her. I got her a Di Gi Charat doll. She thought it was super cute, but didn't realize it was for her at first. Then I told her, "Now he gets to live with you." After that she ran across the counter and gave me one of her awesome Tobie hugs. I miss those. The doll is a cat that lives in a square thing. I thought it was a box. Heidi thought it was a toaster. Tobie thought it was a loaf of bread. I hope Heidi is wrong on this one. Speaking of Heidi, her paintings are up at Farley's. She sold a whole bunch of them on Thursday night. They are so cool! I want to buy one, but I'm not sure how to get it back down to Irvine. After coffee, Rannie and I went to see Old School. I haven't laughed that hard at a movie in a long time. It was totally funny, but it's kind of sad that it's the best movie I've seen in the theatres this year. After the movie we bumped into Jarik. The three of us went to Mel's for something to eat before hanging out in the hot tub at The W. Jarik and I struck a work deal in the hot tub. Now only if I could get the PR girls to negotiate in a jacuzzi....

Ring I just got a most interesting phone call. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Much thought is required.

Hey Baby My friend Jeffrey Adam Young just had a son. He's so adorable-- I think he's part alien or something. I'll call him soon to wish him and the wife well; I just don't want to intrude this very second. I'm so jazzed for him. It's so weird watching my friends have kids. Watching them get married was only a little weird, but having children is so beyond my comprehension. So my friend has a child, a darling wife, and is doing some interesting work... ...and I'm in Irvine where I can't get a date. I'm trying to get many aspects of my life in order, but I keep having setbacks. I've been able to press on, but the tank is almost empty. I need something good to happen soon or I'll get into that listless place where I don't want to try anymore. At least my trip to Daytona was cancelled. I really didn't care to go on that one. I've actually been home for almost two weeks straight. How strange. This weekend I want to see an indie-pop show at the Troubadour. Hopefull Raina wants to go. I miss her muchly. I don't remember the last time I saw her. I've been really bad about visiting people in L.A. Hopefully I'll be motivated to go. Ech, I forgot to make reservations for Las Vegas next week. I better to that today....

Pop Tarts I had some credit on Amazon that I had to use by the end of the month. My purchases were pretty fruity. I got that new Erasure album, where they do covers of Buddy Holly, The Ronettes, Peter Gabriel, The Righteous Brothers, and more. I also brought Christina Aguilera's Stripped...mainly because of "Beautiful." There's something about Linda Perry's (ex-4 Non Blondes front) songwriting. She's one of the few people that writes pop that doesn't offend me. Her stuff with 4 Non Blondes, Pink, and Christina is fun. "Beautiful," is just a really simple and really positive song that I'm digging. And yes, I find her more attractive than Britney because of her imperfections.

My Funny Valentine It's two hours into Valentine's Day and I'm already having visions of dying alone. I decided to put up a personal on Match.com. I sincerely doubt I'll get any responses because it's way too self deprecating...but that was kinda the point of posting in the first place. Oh yeah, the plan to fix my sleeping cycle tonight--not happening.

Your House "If you love me at all, don't call." My sleep schedule has been way off. I blame the quick jaunt to England. After work I take a nap for three to four hours and can't get back to sleep until 4:00 AM. Hopefully I'll right myself today. The Girl called last night. I've been okay not talking to her, but I felt guilty after hearing her message. I don't have to call her back, but it's not in my nature to be so mean. Even though it's better for me without her, I still care for her so much and want to enjoy her company. It's just better for me if I don't. It may or may not be intentional, but I've felt more hurt than love from her in the last few months. Maybe it's all over now. We'll see.

Rainy Days and Mondays "Talking to myself and feeling old...." The Carpenters rule. I don't care what anyone says. It rained last night and will continue to do so until the end of the week. This is extremely unusual in Southern California...and I'm lovin' it. Rain can be peaceful and playful. It always puts me in a reflective state of mind. Valentine's Day is coming up. I think I've had one pleasant V-Day in the last nine years. I still want to go on a vacation. It's too late to make plans to catch an Australian summer. Maybe I'll go to Hawaii...but that seems so commercial. I should make a point to take some kind of break before E3. It's kind of fun having a crush on a girl you've met once, said two words to, and plan on never speaking to again. Ah, the path to meaningful relationships. Where the hell is it? "Hanging around, nothing I can do but frown...."

Shallow Ray I've noticed that my last few months of blogging have been shallow. I'm always talking about places I've been and people I've seen -- not what's going on in my heart. There are so many weird things going on that I only share with two people. The situation has been dominating what little social life I have and since I can't really share it with the world, I'm forced to write about my tribulations on the road. So to recap: my personal life is near nonexistent, work is difficult, and lately, I've been happiest on the road (as in not at the office and not in Irvine). Oh well, I have another plan to pursue since my previous one failed. Hopefully this one plays out. It would do a lot for my personal and professional happiness. Rannie showed me this ridiculously beautiful girl's blog. She's so adorable that I want to put her in a box with a bow on it. Psylancer.com should be alive again soon.

London Calling I went to London this week to check out Nokia's new gaming system. It was fun, mainly because of old friends and the coolest hotel I've ever stayed at (The Sanderson). But I've come to the conclusion that I don't really care for London. I don't dislike it by any means, but if I'm looking for a fast-paced city I'd rather go to New York, Hong Kong, or Tokyo. If I'm looking for nightlife I'd rather hit up Newcastle, Edinburgh, or Sydney. If I want to look at old, historic things I rather do that in a suburban area of Europe or Asia. Oh well, it only took me four trips to London in the last year to come to this conclusion.