Craziness What an emotional week this has been�. Let's break it down. Goodbye -- As I mentioned last post, this was my last week at work. The parting didn't go as smoothly as I had planned. There are some things I could have done better and there were some things they could have done better. It's a shame since I tried to be as accommodating as possible. I really wanted to keep writing for the guys and continue writing my column; I still have some great friends there that I want to help and I really enjoyed my column. Sadly, after taking care of some odds and ends, it looks like my services will not be required. There are definitely other places I can write for and lots of people have asked already, but that green site has a special place with me. The worst part of it was that Bryn and I had a nice exit plan in place. It would have benefited us both, short term and long term. It didn't work out. And when things don't work out the way I have them planned in my head, I kind of crumble. Hello -- Best Best and I filmed our pilot. It was such a fantastic experience. The crew is amazing and so much fun to work with. We've dubbed them "The Fantastic Four." Geoff is the boss so he's Mr. Fantastic. Brian is the biggest so he gets to be The Thing. Since Joel is the prettiest of the bunch we dubbed him The Invisible Woman. So by default, Tommy is The Human Torch. Most of the stuff was great considering the circumstance. Best Best was wonderful, I did okay, and the roundtable�well, that's going to be a mess to edit but it was a good learning experience. Though it doesn't convey much of our vision, I feel very positive about the pilot. Hopefully Yahoo! picks it up. Even if they don't, I wouldn't trade the experience for anything in the world. Six shoots over three days was a lot of work -- and not the kind I'm used to -- but doing it with an amazing crew and Best Best made it really fun and really cool. Chats -- Leaving my job and starting a new projects was quite the conversation piece. I was really excited to talk about the new stuff. Lots of old friends noticed how amped I was about everything and were really happy for me. Unfortunately the rumor mill was running rampant and I had (and still have) to do some damage control. Explaining to people over and over again that I was not fired became tiresome. Me Stuff -- Of course no Raymond week would be complete without some kind of emotional breakdown! Tee-hee. A person I love very much is really concerned about a choice I made�and I suppose she worries about me in general too. Things are just complicated when it comes to her. Plus I got into a little spat because I've been trying to prove that some men are islands. Speaking of which... Island Living -- I've been trying to be stronger and more independent the last few months. Sometimes it works. I've been making an effort to be a bit more distant and detached. I keep whining about the same problems to the same people. I'm tired of saying it so I imagine they're tired of hearing it. I'm trying to change things. My plan was to start letting people in again after I've made significant progress. There are times when it's really hard for me (remember, I'm brave not strong) and there are times when it's okay. Best Best totally called me on it after I freaked out a bit. Bless her for putting up with me and helping me talk things through. At the same time, I still need to be able to stand on my own. I'm still at the point where I'd be a mess if she didn't fix me. It's like "Faithfully." "Wondering where I am, lost without you." No Rest for the Stupid -- So you'd think I'd have some down time now that I don't have a job. Riiiiiight??? As Ivan Lendl so eloquently said in his Snapple commercial, "Not so." Next week I have to fly up to Seattle for a business trip, write some "Hi I wasn't fired. Here's my new contact info." emails, go to the doctor, go to the dentist, go to DMV, check out the footage we shot this week, track down more b-roll, make sure I'm still down for all the press conference, and get some work nailed down for E3. It's nothing I can't handle, I just need some time to clear my head and heart. Fear Factor -- So yeah. This is a really interesting time for me. The Yahoo! stuff has me jazzed. Another company has expressed interesting in having me produce some stuff. Maybe this is a start of an all-new, all-different part of my life. When self doubt creeps in I get a bit scared. I left a steady job and it looks like I won't be able to freelance there. I can't say for sure that I'll get enough writing gigs to get by if the video stuff doesn't work out. So there's a chance that in a few months I'll be struggling to pay rent, still be alone, and be without any career direction. Oh well, I have to believe in myself and believe in Cobra's mantra: "No reward without risk." Oh yeah, McNamara told me some joke last week and it made me pull an oblique. It hurt so much that I thought my appendix was on the verge of bursting. Damn it Andy!

Quickie Wow! Waaaaoooooooowwwww. Yesterday was so busy! Best Best and I shot with a four-person crew -- it was amazing!!! The guys were awesome and it was incredible working with so much. The excitement + the long day + an ill-advised trip to Buddha Bar left me totally sapped. Oh yeah, I quit GameSpy yesterday...but I may have gotten fired after I quit. I should call and find out. More later!

Ha! It's a new day. It's a new week. There are so many exciting possibilities. The weather is nice. Best Best is coming for a visit tomorrow. In the immortal words of Bizzaro, "Life am good."

Tumult 1 a : disorderly agitation or milling about of a crowd usually with uproar and confusion of voices : COMMOTION b : a turbulent uprising : RIOT So yeah! Friday was pretty interesting. I was having a fun drunken-karaoke evening. But then I ... (wait for it) ... went to the dark side. I don't remember the last hour or so, but apparently I was really bad. I have some clean up ahead of me. I feel bad. I don't really know her that well, but she's been really nice to me. Sometimes I run. Sometimes I hide. Sometimes I'm a horrible drunken idiot. Thankfully daughter dearest was around to take care of me. The one thing I do remember is crying on her shoulder while we were in her car. At least, I think I remember that. So that was part of Teddy Bear's birthday weekend. Saturday I just felt like hell and didn't feel like a functioning human being until 10:30PM or so. Ted and I went to Buddha for some Guiness and dice. Mark and I spoke about Sandra for a bit. You know, as bad as that was at times, she was always honest with me. Considering my trust issues with females these days, I really appreciate that. It's probably not a good idea for me to call her though. It has been brought to my attention that I've been being a bit of a himbo lately. This isn't entirely accurate. There were those incidents with Stefanie, Kimberly, and a few other people, but it wasn't as bad as it looked. Leaving with someone doesn't mean you're "leaving" with someone. A few people have theorized that my himbo-ness is the influence of a certain friend of mine. I think that's really unfair to both of us. He's really not like that and I can think for myself. Today is going to be pretty domestic. Ted and I had lunch at Klein's before he took off to the airport. I emptied out the keg from last weekend's party. I put away some dishes. I'm doing laundry. And I'm going to tidy up the place for my nemesis' visit. So to recap, I had a lot of fun on Friday until I became an idiot, I have a really angry Korean woman (who's also really pretty and smart) to apologize to, it was nice having Ted up here for the weekend, and I'm really not a slut. Hmmmm, let's end on a positive note. I've really enjoyed becoming friends with Ted over the last year. He's an excellent person and one of my favorites to spend time with on the road. Hopefully he ends up in SF some day.

The Wisdom of Cobra "No victory without risk!" I picked that up from the stack of G.I. Joe comics I borrowed from Hilary. In addition to being happy for him because he's more satisfied with work, I'm thrilled that Hil started a comics site so that I can borrow stuff from his desk each week. Plus, I get little nuggets of wisdom from Cobra Commander and people of that nature. So yeah, the phrase is actually quite applicable to what I'm going through right now. I'm still sorting out what's smart, what's brave, what's practical, what's cowardly, etc. Of course my new plan is to get a pair of these so I can pitch for the Yankees. I'm lefty. I can throw a changeup. I can learn a knuckleball. Perhaps it's my destiny to be one of their middle relievers. Oh, thanks to everyone that dropped me a line to check if I was okay. I appreciate it. But please note, I'm disgruntled, not psychotic.

That's Interesting I took this quiz I found on daughter's site. I think I did it wrong. I could have sworn I was a bit more romantic. The wealthy/ambitious thing I don't get at all. I suppose I do have many lofty dreams, but none of them have to do with wealth.

Your dating personality profile: Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate. Big-Hearted - You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love. Adventurous - Just sitting around the house is not something that appeals to you. You love to be out trying new things and really experiencing life.

Your date match profile: Big-Hearted - You want someone compassionate, someone gentle and kind. A loving, nurturing person will fill that hole in your life. Shy - You are put off by people who are open books. You are drawn to someone who is a bit more mysterious. You want to draw her out of her shell and get to know what she is all about. Adventurous - You are looking for someone who is willing to try new things and experience life to its fullest. You need a companion who encourages you to take risks and do exciting things.

Your Top Ten Traits 1. Liberal 2. Big-Hearted 3. Adventurous 4. Wealthy/Ambitious 5. Sensual 6. Athletic 7. Romantic 8. Funny 9. Outgoing 10. Intellectual

Your Top Ten Match Traits 1. Big-Hearted 2. Shy 3. Adventurous 4. Intellectual 5. Practical 6. Funny 7. Athletic 8. Traditional 9. Romantic 10. Sensual

Take the Online Dating Personality Quiz at Dating Diversions

Grrrrrrrrrr Wow, I was pretty moody at work today. Everything was pissing me off -- the lack of overall direction, the lack of planning for the big show, the lack of vision, the lack of leadership, and (IMHO) the decline of the site in general. If we're not going to be competitive, I'd love to be more creative than the other guys. I really don't see us being either. This latest video really irritated me too. It should have been way better. I was sharing a shooter with one of our sister sites. The other guy was interviewing for a wrestling site, so his questions centered on WrestleMania XXI (even though he spilled onto my stuff). My questions focused more on the game stuff. Due to time contraints, only one piece was made. So it's a mish-mash of two sets of interviews for two sites for two different audiences. Plus, the shooter didn't know that the sound was off during the best part of my interview with Captain Charisma. The world will be deprived of my incredible encounter with Christian. As I finished my stupid story and updated my sections, I had blissful visions of getting laid off. Hopefully my tryout pans out and I can save myself from all this ... that or I'll get fired for hitting someone with a bat at work. Guess who'd be the first target. Oh, I had a sudden half hour of missing someone immensely. 50 First Dates does that to me.

What Life's About One of the coolest things about loving small record labels is that the owner will personally email you lyrics for their artists. That's so cool! Ed rules!!! Anyway, here's my song of the month courtesy of The Shermans. "What Life's About" Morning toast, Nights by the coast, Dark red wine, Valentines. That�s all I need, that is for me what life�s about, Not all the money in the world could burn me out. Cheese on rye, Hot apple pie, Unexpected smiles, A new hairstyle, A stroll in the park, A kiss in the dark, Children�s laughs, A long hot bath. That�s all I need, that is for me what life�s about Not all the money in the world could burn me out. That�s all I need, that is for me what life�s about Not all the money in the world could burn me out.

Security I woke up holding an article of clothing that belongs to someone dear to me. It was a little odd since it wasn't really close to where I fell asleep. It was wrapped in my arms ... like I suppose I wanted its owner to be. I might have a really huge decision to make very soon. I have to figure out if it's a rash thing to do or if it really is one of those "dare to be great" moments. I need to make sure that I truly rationalize it and I don't fool myself into being practical when I'm really afraid. I need to keep my self doubt in check so I don't miss a chance to try something new and exciting (and uncertain). I'm really not in the right frame of mind to make this decision -- too many other things are playing on my mind -- but I don't have the luxury to wait for myself to become stable. Hmph. Maybe I'll just run away and get a job making coffee ... for tourists ... in Maui. :P

Hello Sinner The title is how I answered the phone after a rather funny call on Wednesday morning. Tee-hee. So I just got back from seeing Sin City at the Arclight. The movie was most enjoyable, but a little strange for me. I read several times that Rodriguez wanted the movie to be exactly like the books, panel to panel. I didn't really believe it until I saw it. It took me a bit to get used to the literal style, because it truly was like watching a comic book. It was so close to the source that it was disconcerting at first -- almost like someone was turning the pages for me. The really weird thing was hearing many of the lines I've read so many times. They've sounded a certain way in my head for years. Hearing someone else say them differently was definitely odd. Still, I love the stories. I love what RR did visually. Most of the performances were great. I only found one to be really bad (poor Brittany). And Jessica as Nancy ... wow! I didn't think she was right for the character, but I totally fell in love with the way she made Nancy strong, vulnerable, sexy, and innocent at the same time ... which is particularly challenging when you're playing an exotic dancer. Jessica's Nancy was so charming!