Suck You Okay, I didn't buy a $500 vacuum. A rare bought of logic came over me. I ended up with a Bissell PowerTrak 3594. It was on sale for $119 at Target (bonus!). The reviews on Amazon and Epinions are pretty positive. It has a cute red light / green light sensor that tells me if the carpet is still dirty or not. I'm pretty sure it's just lying to me though. Its Hepa filter is called a "Media Filter." I'm not really sure what that means, but I'm going turn on Fox News to see if it gets rid of any of that garbage. I had fun vacuuming my empty apartment! Vacuuming rules. Wow. I think I'm an amalgam of Monica, Ross, and Chandler.

Life Sucks I'm totally obsessing over what kind of vacuum cleaner to get for my new apartment. It's pretty ridiculous, but I really, really, really, want to buy a Dyson. Sometimes I'm just such a tech whore. Target has three models. The DC14 has the telescopic reach, the large debris channel, and is the cheapest. The DC07 has a reversible wand and airflow tools, plus the model available at Target is this cool purple, making this the vacuum Prince would use. The DC11 doesn't have a floor tool, but it's so cute and small -- I would pretend my vacuum is R2D2. I could even strap it to my back and pretend I'm a Ghostbuster. *sigh* Which $500 vacuum to buy....

Let's Try that Again! Wow. I really wanted to pass out before lunch yesterday. It's like my whole month of travel and stuff caught up with me in a single day. Looking back, it has been quite a trying month. In addition to all the travel, a lot has happened. Vegas - Silly, wine-induced crying spell. New York - She stopped talking to me. Vegas - Catching up with the wife. Hearing Julie gush about marriage. Seattle - Recovery plans falling through. This weekend I have to pack and move, so it's not over yet. I'm so over February. I can't wait for the month to be over. I'm starting to think I'm a seasonal creature. I was pretty miserable from mid-October 2003 to mid-March 2004. Things started going bad again in mid-October 2004 so if the pattern holds up things will be all bright and cheery again by the middle of next month. I think I might force the issue and go to Hawaii or something, just to make it a self-fulfilling prophecy. So yeah. Last night I fully intended to go boxing, but I totally passed out around 9PM. I woke up around 9AM. It's the best rest I've gotten all month. I still feel off center, which isn't so bad since I don't want to be in a good mood only to have it ruined by packing. Speaking of which, I better get started....

Being Boring That Pet Shop Boys song is stuck in my head. I'm so outstandingly bored. I'm stuck in Washington's equivalent to the Irvine Spectrum. And I have nothing to do ... or nothing I want to do. I totally forgot about The Wired awards. Ach! What a wasted opportunity to self promote. I bet my would-be agent has found a smarter, more-talented, and better-looking boy to take to the promised land. Oh cool, I found something to do. I'm chatting with Evers' MILF friend. She's pretty neat. She's going back to Japan on 3/1. Maybe there's enough time to sneak in a kiss. I mean she's married, she has kids, she lives in another country, and she has issues -- she's perfect ... except for not being white. *joke* When I get back home, things are going to be crazy. I'm not sure how I'm going to handle it all, though I've done a surprising amount of legwork remotely. I just have to make it all work out by Monday. I'm sure I'll figure it all out, though I'll probably be a mess (more of a mess really) when it's all done. Hmmmm, maybe being stranded in Redmond isn't so bad. Lemme get back to Milfy-chan.

Focus Okay, I think I'm starting to get centered. I spent most of the last 17 hours being emotional and irrational and struggling to let logic prevail. I think I'm over it. I created this fear that all women I get really close to -- no matter on what level -- will eventually hurt me or disappoint me or let me down. It's still in the back of my mind, but I'm starting to become a reasonable human being again ... or as reasonable as I ever was. Bleh. I have to wake up in four and half hours so I can play a game and do some interviews. I'm really excited for one of them. It's part of my plan to help Asian Americans take over the business. I'll be fair, but I'll give him ample opportunity to put himself over. Wow, I've been all over the place the last three weeks and it's going to get crazier soon. I had planned to take some shelter from the storm, but I don't think you can really do that. You just need to protect yourself and fix things on your own. It's a new theory I'm working on. Must sleep.

Whirlwhind So I got back from Vegas this evening. It was an okay trip. The work part was fun. The straight interviews were okay -- there's enough stuff to edit to make it look good. The wacky stuff was better. Mikey C was really fun and I've dubbed him the president of Raleigh. I also had fun with Frodo's brother, making him really uncomfortable by telling him how pretty his eyes are. Sweet. You know, I totally forgot that I was in New York a week ago. I had to think real hard to remember where I was between my two Vegas trips. Tomorrow I'm headed to Seattle, so my brain should be really scrambled when I get back Wednesday evening. Oh yeah, there might be a major change happening next week. It's all happening so fast. Calgon, take me away ... actually Calgon is totally lamerz -- I much rather have a Lush Bath Bomb. So back to Vegas! Oddly enough, I didn't spend much time with Justin or Billy. I haven't had as much time to socialize during publisher events since I have to pay attention for writing purposes, grab people for interviews, interview said people, and do some networking for future things. There are lots of people I want to catch up with, but it all goes by so fast. Such is life I suppose. I did get to spend lots of time with Tina-nana and Julie after the event. Tina is so much fun; she's super cute, funny (as funny as women get anyway), smart, charming, smart (again), and she reminds me of Kasumi. She's one of my favorite drunks. Julie ... hmmmmm. She has certainly blossomed over the years. I remember when she was this adorably goofy girl that I gave a special ring to. She went on to become a beautiful woman. And now she's a gorgeous wife. Spencer is quite the lucky man. Oh yeah, I got really drunk. It wasn't the crazy vodka drunk of last year, but rather a sustained wine drunk. I think I was loopy from 9PM to 3AM. I was mostly in control. When thinks looked like they were starting to go over the edge, I had to take care of Tina for a bit, so that was good. I did make one drunk text message. I didn't write anything I didn't mean, but I shouldn't have sent it. I feel bad about that. Oh well. Hopefully next time I'll have a babysitter. I miss my daughter! Even though her new site isn't as cute and smells like it's powered by something a little boy conjured (*snicker*). I think my world is becoming right again. It all started on 02/17/05. Pitchers and catchers reported to spring training that day, and I just felt a little bit better about life in general. Oh yeah, who the hell is playing fantasy baseball this year? I wanna play!!! (I think I rather go for a Yahoo! league than SportingNews this year.) Oh yeah, back to Vegas again. I wasn't in a very social mood so I totally skipped the madness that went on. I spent lots of time at the Luxor Spa, which at $25 / day with unlimited re-entry is the best way to keep out of trouble, stay relaxed, get a little workout, and be good to your skin. I played some cards just to see how my counting skills are. Newsflash: they suck. I won a little bit of money, but I made some really bad mistakes. If I played better I would have been up $900; I'm nowhere near that. Last, but not least, I caught up with an ex. It was mildly amusing and totally harmless. I probably shouldn't have called her, but I really didn't want to be totally alone. Well, I guess I should pack!

Duh Randy Johnson had this dumb ass quote at a Yankee press conference yesterday: "Any time I've taken the mound it's always been the old Samson-and-Goliath story written about me." So I guess it's David and Delilah, huh? Like The Big Unit, I too feel really dumb right now. It started when I forgot to photocopy our apartment application. Yes, the concept of people filling out separate applications for an apartment totally vanished from my mind. Kit and I went to my office, where I went through one White Out pen and half a bottle of Liquid Paper trying to cover up a copy of Kit's application so I could turn it into mine. After three layers and lots of photocopy experimentation I settled for a mess of an application. Yes, I can deftly apply makeup to somewhat cover up my physical disability (my face) but I struggle to brush Liquid Paper over ink in an acceptable fashion. Go figure. The whole White Out ordeal left me mentally drained. I was tired to begin with, but it just got really difficult to think after that. It makes me want to trade back some of the fun I had for some of the brain cells I've obliterated. Next I had a conversation with my friend where he was talking about something like "extracting globules from the iceberg theory." I honestly never heard the phrase "iceberg theory" before. Sue me. Anyway, he said a lot of things that were just completely flying over my head. I think it got a little frustrating for him. The ironic part is that he really didn't get what I was saying either. Perhaps my lack of brain was working against me here too. The words "taint" has been on my mind all day. I feel like I'm dragging around this bundle of negative energy with me. It's kind of like a bunch of balloons, but without the shiny / happy effect. It reminds me of when my friend from NYU (totally forgot her name) ran up to me and was amazed at what a negative aura I had. I feel like I have this taint and I ruin everything I get close to. This stems from making an amazingly cool connection with someone and totally ruining it ... because of said taint. It makes me want to avoid people or put up walls. Hmmmm, if I go with the latter will I have a negative feedback loop of my taint? Oh yeah, in another idiot moment I totally forgot that I'm going to be away for almost all of the next week. I need to do laundry and wake up early to pick up dry cleaning. Way to go moron. Oh yeah (2), I got this wicked raise that will allow me to buy an extra Happy Meal every paycheck. On a positive note, pitchers and catchers report to spring training in a few hours!

Apartment Hunt! Kit and I spent the afternoon looking at apartments in Potrero Hill. We saw four places. Three of them were interesting and one was just incredible. Here are the pictures. And here's my rundown on each. 320 Pennsylvania 2br/1ba $1800 - Awesome location - block and half from Farley's, close to my gym, 22 bus is right there, CalTrain and 15 are a short walk. - Average bedrooms - Average living room - Old paint - Small closets - New kitchen - New bathroom - Parking spot 531 Pennsylvania 3br/2ba $2500 - Great location - short walk to Farley's, nice walk to gym, close to Caltrain, 22, 15, and 48. - Two big bedrooms (one with a bathroom -- mine!!!) and one smaller bedroom - Big living room - Big dining room - Big kitchent with new dishwasher and fridge - Good closet space - Garage - Brown carpet (well ... I'm brown so I can camouflage myself) - Washer /Dryer in building (though I'd probably go to the laundromat on 18th to unsuccessfully meet women) - Small deck with a lovely view of the bay - Electric, gas, and water included in rent 121 Arkansas 2br/1ba $1975 - Awesome location - right between Farley's and my gym, 22 is right there, 19 and 15 are a short walk. - God bathroom - Small kitchen - Small rooms, one with great wall units - Washer / Dryer in building - Small living room - Interesting neighbors ... though two are French - Jacuzzi to be installed - Cool floors ... made out of floor sh*t (see Curb season 3) 710 22nd Street 2br/1ba $1700 - Bleh location - close to 15 and 48, anything interesting is a bit of a walk, Third St. has a good share of derelicts. - Small living room - Average bedrooms - Big kitchen with fairly new appliances - Water closet and shower seperate - Laundry room - Unusually low ceilings, which I suppose is good since Gifford can never visit (*joke*) *sigh* I'm in love with 531 Penn. I think I'll write the deposit check now. Heeeeeeee!

Randomosity My brother and I saw Sideways last night. It was my second time seeing it. I love that movie -- definitely the best thing I saw last year. I am Miles Raymond. I'm underachieving and lacking -- almost utterly -- in confidence except when it comes to obscure things I'm really passionate about (i.e. Blue Beetle and Booster Gold). I need someone to tell me not to go to the dark side when I drink and prevent me from drunk dialing. One of the trailers shown was for The Upside of Anger. It looks cute and gave me an idea. Perhaps what I need to do is find my equal in misery so that we can arrive at a new place together. I can see the personal ads now: Desperate, Needy, Pathetic seeks other. My brother appears on this recently release album. Go buy it. I haven't listened to any of it yet, but from the cover I'll go out on a limb and say it's lesbian adult-contemporary. This Photoshop-ped picture by Shane made me laugh. Thanks buddy. I needed that. Here's my first GS interview that was not shot by Ryan. I don't think it's unfair to say that if Ryan were behind the camera it would look eight-jillion times better. Perhaps the cameraman -- and just to be clear, he's a really sweet and nice guy that I like a lot -- was listening to Public Enemy and was attempting to "Bring the Noise" into the shot ... at every possible moment. Oh well, at least it's in widescreen.

My Bloody Valentine Hmmm. It's Valentine's Day and I can't remember if this is ninth or tenth I've been alone for. I guess it doesn't matter after a while. Since I'm fond of lists, I'll go ahead and make one. I'm sure it'll be incomplete, but here it goes. From the home office in ... uhm ... actually from my parent house in New York here are "The Top 10 Most Ridiculous Moments in my Romantic Life." 10) Learning that Marissa was going to the prom with someone else. (I was her boyfriend so I assumed she'd be going with me.) 9) Discovering that Hyacinth and Wil were together. 8) That time I was dumped for not changing religions. (Shane I put this one in just for you.) 7) The time I visited Diane and learned she got married the week before. 6) Insert your favorite Sandra moment here. 5) Discovering that Sharon and Vince were together. This one was great because she was asleep in my (hotel) bed and he pulls me aside for a chat in the bathroom. 4) The night I ruined my friendship with Sue by calling her Sharon at a really inopportune time. 3) Giving The Girl that book I wrote for her. (I still have half a mind to break into her place and steal it so I can deny ever writing it.) 2) Reaching down to hold her hand after an amazing night, after making what I thought was an incredible connection, and after hearing how special I was more than I've ever heard in my life only to feel ... (wait for it) ... a wedding ring. And the number one most ridiculous moments in my romantic life... 1) Going on a perfect date with a girl I didn't deserve to be spending time with. In the immortal words of Mick Foley, "Have a nice day!"

February Theme Song "Be Be Your Love" You can listen to it here. And also, "Ha!" I picked a theme song before you did this month. I think I deserve more Wine Gums for that.

Damn I Look Good Okay, that's not entirely true. In this recent interview about WrestleMania XXI I actually look quite wretched. I just got back from Asia that morning, had no intention of going to the event, and certainly had no intention of conducting an interview. But thanks to Ryan's mad skills and the power of the Canon XL2 the interview looks fantastic! I also picked a pretty interesting corner to film in, as opposed to the boring-ass window our sister site was filming against. This was our first interview using the XL2 and I can't wait until we use it again! It's a damn good thing I know a bit about wrestling or my jet-lagged state would have made for a really bad interview. My voice was scratchy, my hair was a mess, and I didn't have makeup to cover my wreck of a face. Thankfully, Ryan and the XL2 save all! Oh yeah, that EA event on Thursday was the first time I did any site interviews without Ryan. I think I did an okay job with the interview, but every time I glanced back at the camera a sense of panic shot down my spine. Is this shot framed well? Is he making that neutral density filter mistake again? Is he going to change angles once during this shoot? *sigh* I missed shooting with Ryan. It's just comforting to know that you have a talented cameraman shooting you and you don't have to worry about anything but the interview. Anyway, since nobody is bothering to make this interview easy to find on the site, download it here! Oh, after I return from New York and skip off to Vegas I'm off to Seattle. Being a road warrior is actually a good thing for me right now. I really don't need to be holed up in my room thinking the terrible thoughts I usually think. Then again, Vegas is a bad idea when my heart band-aid isn't enough to keep my fractured self together. Then again (x2), I also need to look for a new apartment so maybe all this travel isn't the smartest thing right now. Of course, I can just bag it all and run away in April to become a bartender in Maui -- just a thought I'm playing around with.

Gosh!!! Idiot!!! So that panel at Columbia was fun. Sitting with people far more important than you are (CEOs, executive vice presidents, etc.) while speaking to MBA students is definitely a ... humbling experience. I was pretty sure I'd be the dumbest person on the panel and that there was a fair chance I'd be the dumbest person in the room. Turns out I was right! So I did what any insecure person would do in that situation -- I made them laugh. Someone once told me, "You try to keep them laughing so they can't see your fear and pain and insecurities." So yeah, once again I played the role of the jester. I actually managed to make some okay points too. I give my panel performance a C+, mainly because I was able to be somewhat animated on four hours of sleep. See, last night Andy, Doug, Billy, Jeff, and I followed Tara, Laura, and Ann around town. Adventures with Tara usually mean trouble ... in the best sense of the word. I was actually pretty well behaved. I didn't get idiot drunk like I used to and I didn't get hyper-emotional drunk like last week. Mostly-sober Raymond chuckled as drunk-ass Andy / Doug would randomly shout, "Jambalaya!!!" (Long story. Don't ask.) It was just a fun time at a cool roof-top bar with gorgeous views of Manhattan and Jersey. Andy is one of my favorite junket companions ever -- we've had some excellent times on the road (spanning four countries I think). I used to be able to say the same about Doug, but then he drunkenly tried to drown me in Mexico. Jeff ... wow, it's weird to think I've known someone for that long (13 years?). From being idiots in college to becoming idiots in gaming, it's been quite a journey for us both. It's been neat watching Tara and Laura grow up over the years. They're still immensely fun ... but you can just tell they've gotten smarter and wiser about ... well, everything really. Plus there's a Pacifica in the mix now. And Ann. Well Ann is just hot and really sweet. So yeah! After I left the city to head to my parents I discovered an email crisis ... which became a lengthy email discussion ... which became an email goodbye. It's sad and I'm really hurting and I'm losing one of the most wonderful people I've ever met, but it's the right thing to do. Ah, there it is ... the incongruity between what is right and what feels right. In a way, the heartache is comforting. It's like an old friend. Oh yeah, I saw James last night too. James and me back in New York! Ha! I miss him a lot and this whole email thing reminded me of something he once told me. It was like, "God forbid you're ever happy or have something that works out. You wouldn't know what to do with it." *sigh* I don't think he's right in thinking that I gravitate towards things that don't work. Things like that just don't work out for me. Butterflies and slugs.

Return of the Roadster Ech. My laptop's configsys decided to die so I'm typing from the hotel's TV Internet thingie. I hate it and I want it to die. I'm five second away from smashing this wireless keyboard over my head. Anyway, she cancelled on me last night. That's twice in the last two weeks. That makes it 29 times in the six months we've been hanging out. (okay, I might be embellishing). The point being this is just pathetic. I mean, the last few weeks (months?) there's only two things I've really wanted to do when I'm home: spend time with her or box. Sure there's industry parties happening all the time and Glenda makes sure I have someone to talk to, but I almost always go back to those two things. Logically, I'm ok with it. I know she has a lot going on at work, she has a boyfriend, and she needs to spend time taking care of her health. Emotionally, I'm struggling with it. I truly wish I meant something to her. "You let people walk all over you," she once told me. That's a lovely observation from someone at the head of the line, huh? The good news is that I'm not going to drown this all in vodka and I'm on the road so I can't drag Sandra back into the mix (mess?). I'm in New York until Tuesday and then I'm in Vegas from Thursday to Sunday. Thankfully being on the road helps me forget how stupid I let things get. Wow. I'd probably be a lot more stable if I stuck to my original plan of not seeing her anymore after that wonderful night in October. Oh yeah, happy new year.

I Believe in Yesterday Yesterday was an amazingly efficient day. I got so much in personally and professionally that I'm pretty impressed with myself. I went to a Sony tech briefing, had coffee with Kat, responded to a lengthy email regarding a side project, had a working lunch, wrote an article, confessed guilt to Kitten, caught up with a friend I haven't talked to in months (Alison!!!), and took in a demo. I so owned yesterday. Of course I pretty much passed out at 9PM. Perhaps being amazingly efficient is too much for me to handle.

Dinner Time The roomies had a dinner party tonight. I was out boxing and my metabolism was up so I missed dinner. So for me it was a wine and strawberries party. Check out the pics. A friend of mine is going through a lot right now. I just want you to know that I'm thinking about you, wishing you well, and sending you positive energy.

My Life in Pictures Here are some shots from D.I.C.E. and my last few evenings. Enjoy!

Building Memories So yeah! D.I.C.E. 2005 was quite an event (download the video!). It's always great catching up with pals in the business. I got some interesting work done. I promoted the brand of me (see Fast Company, circa 1997). And it was just really fun! Here are some highlights. The Man -- I got to interview Stan Lee. It was, by far, the most terrifying assignment in my career. I've been reading comics since I was eight and Stan "The Man" is responsible for creating dozens and dozens of the characters I adventured with. I was so ridiculously nervous for this one. I didn't do anything stupid, but I was too nervous to interview well. Oh well, I got to meet him and chat with him. That's something I'll never forget. Awards -- I was a presenter at the A.I.A.S. awards. I made it on and off stage without tripping, which was my biggest concern. I hit all the lines I wrote and even made up two on the fly since the video clips were working and I had to take more time. The one thing I did wrong was not lowering the mic enough. I pulled it down a bit, but it didn't go as far as I wanted it to. I didn't want to fuss around with the mic more -- and potentially break it -- so I just went on. It was too high and I looked like I was at a spelling bee. Teddy -- For some reason, Kitten and I thought it would be really funny to sing a song we wrote for Ted Price. We were totally sober so I'm not sure what part of our brains told us it was a good idea. The song is to the tune of "Old McDonald Had a Farm." It went a little something like this. Keep in mind that Trip Hawkins just won the Half of Fame award at the show. Teddy Price had a club, A.I.A.I.S. And on that club he had a Trip, A.I.A.I.S. With a Hawkins here and a Hawkins there, Here a Trip, there a Trip, everywhere a Trip, Trip, Teddy Price had a club, A.I.A.I.S. Oh yeah, Jack Tretton was with Ted when we were singing this to him. Guy -- A bunch of us were at Ghost Bar on Wednesday night. Russo and I decided to go up to this gaggle on 50-year olds to hit on them. His opener was, "So, you girls are here for a bachelorette party, right?" Russo played Jack and I played Guillame -- two blackjack dealers from Binion's. Jack is a former tax attorney and Guy is a former journalist. Jack and Guy are absolute money with the 50-and-over crowd. Marriage -- Kitten and I met these two shoe designers at V Bar. She was wearing her "Ce Soir" shirt and one of them asked her what it meant. I popped in with, "Excuse me, are you reading her boobs?" He replied with, "I'm sure you do that every night." We kept going with it. We told them that we met in an AOL chat room and we were an Internet couple. I brought her to Vegas to surprise her with the news that I'm moving to Vancouver to be with her. The shoe designers thought we were charming and we obviously meant to be forever. "I can just tell by the way she looks at you," he said. Heeee!!! They wanted us to get married that night. One would have been the best man, while the other would have been the bridesmaid. Wine -- So I was allowed to get a little drunk as a test. Kitten handled it much better than I did. Since I stopped drinking, I've been on such an even keel. I wasn't sure where my maelstrom of emotions went. Apparently they're locked up in a little box that opens up after several glasses of cabernet. In some ways it felt good to let some of the emotions go. In other ways I feel really bad about it. One of the biggest complexes I have is feeling like a burden to my closest friends. Ever since Raina left my life (I was getting too ridiculous for her to deal with), I've been very conscious of what I let people see. Even those that I was already close with, I've pulled back a bit. Sometimes I get caught; I remember Tammy yelling at meet once because I imagined myself to be a burden to her and she wasn't going to hear any of it. Anyway, one night I just got emotional and irrational and insecure and annoying after lots of wine. I got a stern talking to by Kitten and I ended up crying on her in front of Fat Burger at 4:19 AM. It was really rather sad ... and a bit embarassing since Dr. Greg and Russo caught the whole show. I guess I just get self centered when I'm wine drunk. I really needed to be strong for one of the most important people in my life, and I just wasn't. Sure I was there, but that's not enough. She deserves more than that from me and I'm so disappointed with myself for letting her down. At least I'm aware of it though and can work on it in the future. Hopefully she won't write me off. Good Morning -- Kitten and I got a bunch of stares and giggles the last morning of D.I.C.E. People were all "Glad to see you made it!" and "Wow, I can't believe you guys are up early!" It was odd because I don't think we were crazy at all. One of the volunteers said, "Yeah, we had a really great talk last night!" The real kicker was when another volunteers said, "Hey I read GameSpy every day and I see your pictures and Zoe's photos. It's cool to see that you're just normal people that can go drinking and singing." I don't really recall spending much time with either of them. Ha! Lines -- No, not cocaine lines! It's funny how people can find that perfect retort to a line you've been practicing for weeks. Combined with perfect eye contact, words can just totally break you down. "You're more important to me than I could ever tell you." Ouch. What are you supposed to say to that? It totally hit me at the time, but as days pass I realize it's something she says to keep me around. I don't think she meant it in a malevolent way. She just likes how I treat her and doesn't want me to go. Bleh. My head is getting all bubbly. I better stop thinking about this.

Birthdays and Videos Okay, if you ever loved me ... hell if you ever liked me then you'll download this video. It's the D.I.C.E. piece that we shot this past week. I've watched it twice and I'm really, really pleased with it. Considering it's a one-man crew (Ryan!!!) doing a ton of the work, two people pestering importants for interviews, and a segment that was cut in such a short time, I think it's pretty damn impressive. It turned out to be nearly everything I envisioned and a few things I didn't. I'm really proud of what Ryan was able to do. It's neat watching his career progress. Kitten and I both agree that he has an incredibly bright future. Now go watch that vid! So tonight was my daughter's birthday party. She was happy and hammered, and it was fun for me to watch. Three nights of D.I.C.E. and that SOE party left me feeling a bit anti-social -- I really needed to be "off" for one night. Thankfully Kit was around to keep me company and enjoy the lovely '80s set the DJ was spinning. Lots of people were having a wild time, but I was totally content to catch up with Kit, sip a Boddingtons, enjoy the music, and watch my little girl tear it up. After making sure she was taken care of, I took a cab home and thought about the video some more, as well as the surprise email / phone call I got at work. Things are definitely interesting for me right now. Oh yeah, I'll get to that long D.I.C.E. post tomorrow.

Eep! People are posting pictures of me where I look ugly and stoned. My future agent better prevent this from happening. Hmph.

Rolling I should be blogging about DICE 2005, but I'll save that for a longer post. It was a fantastic event; I got a lot of great work done, the networking was superb, my experimentation with libations took a curious twist, I had a really good time, the self promotion was excellent, I didn't get married, and it was really emotional on several levels. I still need to think about it more and let it all sink in. Anyway, shortly after getting off the plane from Vegas, I hit up a Sony Online party. It was more fun and productive than I thought it would be. I met some great people -- both professionally and personally. It was fun, I didn't get hammered, and I think I have some really cool interviews set up for the near future. Kat introduced me to Ashley, my favorite frag doll. After chatting with her and her (maybe ex, maybe still) boyfriend, I was just totally charmed. So many of the boys were enamored with her, but this 22-year old bumpkin got to me in ways that ... I guess I don't think the other boys saw the same things I did. She very much reminded me of another short, young, big-eyed, blondie. After fifteen minutes, I knew she was dangerously charming. I am not allowed to talk to her ever again. She would kill me. I was in wingman mode once again (always the bridesmaid), as one of the people I met took a strong liking to a friend of mine. I put forth a strong effort into setting them up, but he totally dropped the ball on this one. Hopefully he'll recover because she's all about him. Oh, I really shouldn't hug people wearing white shirts when I'm wearing makeup. One of the PR people drunkenly told me, "So, I heard you have a big crush on Zoe Flower." After spitting a bit of pinoit noir across the table, I recovered and replied to one of the funniest things I've heard in the last three years. It was my usual response of claiming that I know her a little bit and hinting that I'm using her to advance my career. I 've been in the North Beach / Chinatown area twice in the last week and I haven't popped into Buddha Bar. I feel enormous guilt for that. Oh, apparently sad girl is on the verge of being homeless again. *sigh* I don't think I have it in me to take care of her right now. February is going to be busy; just got back from Vegas, going to New York, going to Vegas again, and maybe a surprise international trip if I get the story I want. Nope, nope , nope. I can't take care of her. I have to be selfish and try to take care of me. Anyway, I should sleep. I have a day of work and long DICE post tomorrow.